I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
