yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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