Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
