My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize