If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
