nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
