Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize