Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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