If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
