We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
