i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
