im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
