hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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