Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you would pick up someone in the library
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
