I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
