My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
