is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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