Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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