I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
