she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
