Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
