I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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