the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
