the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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