once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there was a trapeze. enough said
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
false alarm, still single
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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