it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
