We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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