ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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