Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
