So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
