Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
