Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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