i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
