We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize