Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
