Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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