Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
