That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
