:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
