dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
