maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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