Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
