She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
