apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
