Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
