My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
