i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
