Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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