You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
How naked do you want me to be?
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