you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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