I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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