I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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