p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
