How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
