At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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