The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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