why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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