dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
