I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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