So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
