Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
